Happiness

This morning I read an article two people on my friends list shared. With the phrase 'love this! 😊🙌🏻'

The article was titled, Marriage isn't about your happiness. 

At first I thought, play on words? 

No. 

Apparently this self centred society is making us all question our relationships based on our happiness. 

Excuse me while I clear my throat. 

What a load of bullshit!! 

It went on to say, it's about love and sacrifice. About giving and receiving. About doing the dishes even though it's your least favourite chore. About blah blah blah. 

Sorry but if all those things are broken and you are giving, giving, giving. Sacrifices every once of your self for your relationship and the other person isn't. Then love begins to fade. 

To me love equals happiness. If there is no love then no happiness will be there. 

It really breaks my heart that women and men stay together for such a long time based in the fact they have to work it out for love. Instead of standing up for yourself and saying, hey this isn't working in not happy, I'm falling out of love with you. 

That is ok. No one is perfect. 

We are taught to love ourselves before we can love another. Which to me means I need to be happy enough in my self to love it with all I have. Happy with where I am in life and how I got here. Who I am and what I believe. 

I often tell people, if you strip away everything and you are left with yourself. Are you where you want to be, can you live with that? 

Because at the end of the day, you close your eyes at night and you don't know what's around the corner. 

Happiness is a gift. Cherish it. If it makes you selfish, relish in it because it is contagious. 

Pregnancy story kind of

The glamorous side to pregnancy...

It doesn't exist unless you have a seven year old who thinks the whole experience is so cool. Though his patience is not much and wants baby out asap! 

I thought I did well in my first pregnancy only putting on 14kgs. I was young, fit and healthy and had nothing to worry about. I felt fantastic! Even my birth was a dream come true and not many women get to experience such a delightful first birth experience. 

This was nothing compared to my next pregnancy. I was older, felt older, tired, drained and unmotivated. I looked well but felt like shit 99% of the time. I only put on 7kgs but I put that down to losing muscle and being so nauseated that the thought of food would just turn me off it completely. I had no appetite. 

And on top of all this I was studying full time. Go me! 

I had that awful feeling the whole time that something was wrong or something was going to go wrong. But how could it? I was still young, I had an awesome birth previously, what could happen...

Trust your bodies ladies if you feel like something is up or down, go get it checked. Don't be naive. 

Baby was breech and I knew she wasn't going to turn, I knew. I felt her trying but something was stopping her. It was making me anxious. I waited till 36weeks to start to worry and until then I still had some hope she would turn although I was happy to have a vaginal breech birth. I was referred for an ultra sound to see position of baby. 

At 37weeks I was told I had a Bicornuate uterus (heart shaped). Look it up it's pretty cool and annoying! 

She was trying to turn but she couldn't because my weird shaped uterus was stopping her. Sorry babe. So ceasran was booked in. I was scared, the thought of being cut open to have a baby scared me. They also said she was super tiny and then I was really scared but I wanted her out. I was positive about having her earth side and I could help her. 

Anyway fast forward exactly a week and I was in OT having a tiny baby girl who wanted to make an earlier than planned ceasar arrival. She was perfect, tiny, bit hungry and ready for the world. 

I have two children who are so similar yet so opposite and I could not be happier. 

Pregnancy sucks at times but you really do miss it when you are at the other side.

Photo of baby girls head trying to turn/evacuate the building.  

Seriously why!?!

So it has come to my attention that there is something that is not significant to my life but makes my blood boil. 

The producers and dicks who make series. Honestly you are greedy money hungry assholes. 

Normally you all do amazing work and I'd applaude you for your amazing cinematography. But there is one thing of late that just erks me to tears. 

It came to my attention after the last instalment of the terminator series. I was so excited to see Emilia Clarke as Sarah Connor and the performance was great but for fucks sake. You basically voided every other fucking terminator movie! Judgement day is a fucking classic and you've pissed all over it, you twats! 

Now to you dickheads who made the already woeful X-men series. You tried to make amends and start from the beginning. Personally that was a great move. Because I always wondered how they all got there and how you were going to write it into the story. Now what really grinds my gears is the fact that even though the originals were questionable. You all decided that lets not just make it all line up but fuck off all those other storylines that go with it. This also goes with the wolverine movies that are now void. So thank you days of futures past for doing a number the whole X-men franchise and confusing the fuck out of everyone. Let's hope this new apocalypse or whatever makes more sense, you story fuckers.