Trend update

Still don't know what a gif means. 😂

Also, this study and parenting bizz is hard work. Especially when I have so many shows to catch up on haha! 

My son is pretty much a grown human and it's making me sad. 

One because it means he's growing up and not my cute baby anymore. 

Two because it means I'm also getting old. 

That is all. 

I had a break down this week so will have to write a post next week about the woes. 

Hope you all have a lovely weekend. 

Happiness

This morning I read an article two people on my friends list shared. With the phrase 'love this! 😊🙌🏻'

The article was titled, Marriage isn't about your happiness. 

At first I thought, play on words? 

No. 

Apparently this self centred society is making us all question our relationships based on our happiness. 

Excuse me while I clear my throat. 

What a load of bullshit!! 

It went on to say, it's about love and sacrifice. About giving and receiving. About doing the dishes even though it's your least favourite chore. About blah blah blah. 

Sorry but if all those things are broken and you are giving, giving, giving. Sacrifices every once of your self for your relationship and the other person isn't. Then love begins to fade. 

To me love equals happiness. If there is no love then no happiness will be there. 

It really breaks my heart that women and men stay together for such a long time based in the fact they have to work it out for love. Instead of standing up for yourself and saying, hey this isn't working in not happy, I'm falling out of love with you. 

That is ok. No one is perfect. 

We are taught to love ourselves before we can love another. Which to me means I need to be happy enough in my self to love it with all I have. Happy with where I am in life and how I got here. Who I am and what I believe. 

I often tell people, if you strip away everything and you are left with yourself. Are you where you want to be, can you live with that? 

Because at the end of the day, you close your eyes at night and you don't know what's around the corner. 

Happiness is a gift. Cherish it. If it makes you selfish, relish in it because it is contagious. 

Pregnancy story kind of

The glamorous side to pregnancy...

It doesn't exist unless you have a seven year old who thinks the whole experience is so cool. Though his patience is not much and wants baby out asap! 

I thought I did well in my first pregnancy only putting on 14kgs. I was young, fit and healthy and had nothing to worry about. I felt fantastic! Even my birth was a dream come true and not many women get to experience such a delightful first birth experience. 

This was nothing compared to my next pregnancy. I was older, felt older, tired, drained and unmotivated. I looked well but felt like shit 99% of the time. I only put on 7kgs but I put that down to losing muscle and being so nauseated that the thought of food would just turn me off it completely. I had no appetite. 

And on top of all this I was studying full time. Go me! 

I had that awful feeling the whole time that something was wrong or something was going to go wrong. But how could it? I was still young, I had an awesome birth previously, what could happen...

Trust your bodies ladies if you feel like something is up or down, go get it checked. Don't be naive. 

Baby was breech and I knew she wasn't going to turn, I knew. I felt her trying but something was stopping her. It was making me anxious. I waited till 36weeks to start to worry and until then I still had some hope she would turn although I was happy to have a vaginal breech birth. I was referred for an ultra sound to see position of baby. 

At 37weeks I was told I had a Bicornuate uterus (heart shaped). Look it up it's pretty cool and annoying! 

She was trying to turn but she couldn't because my weird shaped uterus was stopping her. Sorry babe. So ceasran was booked in. I was scared, the thought of being cut open to have a baby scared me. They also said she was super tiny and then I was really scared but I wanted her out. I was positive about having her earth side and I could help her. 

Anyway fast forward exactly a week and I was in OT having a tiny baby girl who wanted to make an earlier than planned ceasar arrival. She was perfect, tiny, bit hungry and ready for the world. 

I have two children who are so similar yet so opposite and I could not be happier. 

Pregnancy sucks at times but you really do miss it when you are at the other side.

Photo of baby girls head trying to turn/evacuate the building.  

Seriously why!?!

So it has come to my attention that there is something that is not significant to my life but makes my blood boil. 

The producers and dicks who make series. Honestly you are greedy money hungry assholes. 

Normally you all do amazing work and I'd applaude you for your amazing cinematography. But there is one thing of late that just erks me to tears. 

It came to my attention after the last instalment of the terminator series. I was so excited to see Emilia Clarke as Sarah Connor and the performance was great but for fucks sake. You basically voided every other fucking terminator movie! Judgement day is a fucking classic and you've pissed all over it, you twats! 

Now to you dickheads who made the already woeful X-men series. You tried to make amends and start from the beginning. Personally that was a great move. Because I always wondered how they all got there and how you were going to write it into the story. Now what really grinds my gears is the fact that even though the originals were questionable. You all decided that lets not just make it all line up but fuck off all those other storylines that go with it. This also goes with the wolverine movies that are now void. So thank you days of futures past for doing a number the whole X-men franchise and confusing the fuck out of everyone. Let's hope this new apocalypse or whatever makes more sense, you story fuckers. 

Good luck one and all

I finally finished my first year of Uni with flying colours I might add. 

Well now I am able to reflect on my achievements, it surely was not the best fun at the time. 

First semester flew by and before I knew it. I was actually doing some real life nursing. And I loved it! Even if I was 6 months pregnant and in my feet for 9hours a day. It was totally worth it. 

I now know that I'm in the field that I love. 

After the experience of my first prac two exams still remained. And like the trooper I am, I didn't ask for special treatment or a comfy chair (being 36 weeks pregnant of course I should have), I wanted to take the exam like every other student in that hot building. It was a lot easier inside then outside waiting. 

So for the final exam, studying was too much effort and I decided if I didn't know enough then so be it. I just said to everyone I saw, good luck, may the odds be ever in your favour, don't worry about it you'll be fine. It'll be easy. Well it was ok and we all passed. Yay! I hope I can take that moto into this next semester which has been labelled the hardest of the whole degree. I'll be hitting it head on with a three month old. Wish me luck because I'm silently dying inside. 

New life

After the most intense year of my life I think I need to recap on some highlights and low lights. 

Let's start with the best one. My daughter. Miss Lainey Jane. She is the best thing since having my son. I can honestly say I fall in love with her more everyday when I wake up and see her pretty face. Even if it's the second, third or forth time I've seen it that morning. Never even dreamed of having another baby for a long time, let alone a girl and I'm going to say it, she's a blessing, I don't know what I'd do without her. I used to think people were crazy when they called their kids blessings. I know I have a son already and I guess I can look back and say, yes he is a blessing. I more saw it as he is my favourite human. He still is my favourite human. But my daughter she is just adored. 

So birth not as simple and easy as my son. Although I'm glad I faced both type of births. It's encouraging for me as a student nurse to have had birthing experiences that women want or don't want. 

My princess decided to be stuck in breech position and nothing that was her fault, more so mine. Well a genetic abnormality that I had no idea I had until a week prior to her birth. And you know it explains so much. But despite the fact I was faced with a possible csection birth I felt positive about the birth. First time in the whole pregnancy. You know when you just know something isn't right, well that's what I felt. And I was right. Transverse breech and I have a Bicornuate uterus (heart shaped). 

So even though my csection was booked my little (I mean little) girl decided to show up early anyway. Weighing a mere 2.54kg which is around 5pound 9 I believe. 

Apart from feeling super weirded out by the whole abdominal surgery situation I was in and completely freaking out! That emotion you feel when you first see your baby is indescribable. I was hit with a brick of emotion and she was amazing! Has been a pretty awesome baby so far even if she hates the car and screams or just outright whinges because she can't handle not being held. And we love her, love our cuddles, love her smile, love her chins and she's loves us too. 

The best thing, seeing my seven year old fall in love with someone for the first time it is a sight to see ladies and gents. Watch out future girlfriends you have major competition, I'll know it when I see it. And future boyfriend you better be charming because you have a tough dad and a protective big brother to deal with. Good luck one and all. 

Mary Fucking Poppins

What a load of crock!

Every time I watch that bloody movie and see this women describe herself as, ‘practically perfect in every way’. I think to myself, ‘good for you Mary’, but damn you at the same time, and how far up your ass does that coat hanger go? Honestly!

What kind of ideals is this women teaching children? I am practically perfect in every way and you are not. I must see my face all at once. Oh, and I can sing bird too! You children on the other hand are naughty, messy and misbehaved. Never mind that's what children are suppose to be like so, let’s eat some sugar and snap our fingers, children don't need fixing (which is true but sugar and finger snapping aint the way either).

Oh but it is such a lovely story about teaching the dad how to chill the eff out. Well Mary, Dad has a high demanding job with a snotty boss, a wife who wastes their money on maids and nannies. No wonder he is tense, his hard earned cash is being used up on an activist wife with horrible hair. Not to mention the bird feeding, supercalafragalistic more like influenza.

The only good thing about that movie is the bloody dancing penguins, because eff you Mary Poppins and your eyerolling.